Late Stage Dementia

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edited March 2015 in Coping

Alzheimer's article: Late Stage DementiaLate Stage Dementia

Providing care with a loved one who has late stage dementia can be heartbreaking and exhausting. It is critical that you take care of yourself, too.

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  • I just lost my daddy from alzheimers 3 weeks ago. He was 88.He was bedbound for the last 4 years. I fed him,,bathed him,,diapered him,,and most of all LOVED HIM. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life,,,and I would do it all again. I started taking care of him and my sweet mother in 2002. She passed in 2004..telling me to "take care of your Daddy.You have to watch him careful". SHE KNEW ! These hard 11 years, we were all alone.Yes,,there was family,,but they quickly got lost.No help at ALL. I am disabled,,and live off of my medicare and a VERY small pension.Daddy,,medicare,,and another very small pension.If I told you,,you would say "How did you do it?" Well,,I will be in deep debt for the rest of my life.But,,he needed diapers,FOOD,clothes,bedsheets,blankets,and the regular household stuff.THANK GOD,,his drugs were covered.Just his diapers ran $80 a CASE,,,and I had to have 3-4 cases a MONTH,,or more if he had a stomach problem (!). I did what I needed to do to make him comfortable and happy his last days. 11 years of taking care of ,,to me,,the greatest man that ever lived.At times,,I thought I was broken,,,I would hold his hand and cry out to God. THAT'S WHO GOT ME THROUGH IT,,,GOD. It sometimes became too much for me.I would cry,,wondering WHERE was I ever gonna get the money to even buy some food.I have a 20 year old car,,it hasn't had an oil change in 5 years. I used it ONE day a month,,to run to the grocery store 2 miles from my house,,I had a neighbor stay with him.Took me about 30 minutes.,,,just perishables,meat,milk,eggs,bread,etc. I ordered everything else from Walmart. Toliet paper,daddys wipes,J&J baby wash,,(what I bathed him in in his bed,so it wasn't too hard to rinse him off,,and he smelled so good !) light bulbs,, get it. They delivered right to my door,,they were GREAT ! I gave up going to my doctor,,cos I didn't have anyone to stay with him for that long.NO,,Family was NO HELP,,NONE.Money,,help,,NOTHING. Now,,after all this time,,I am starting to go back and have my MANY medical problems taken care of. I have, COPD,severe osteo-arthritius,Burrsers Disease,Chronic Fatigue,Fibromyalgia,Eppstein -Bar,4 herniated disc,spinal stenoises,etc. THAT'S ENOUGH.I am 64 years old.HOW did I do it? The grace of GOD. Now,,this week,,I found out I have Pulmanary Hypertension. But...I AM GOOD. God will take care of me.I may end up sleeping in my car,,as the "family" that offered no help wants to sell the house.It was my daddys.But,,trickery worked...they tricked my dad who had a 3rd grade education into signing it over to "them",,I wish I would have known. Now,,I'm out,,,no place to go,,,in deep debt,,but my faith in God will get me taken care of.I have no friends here.No family in this state. Just pray for me,please. I hope my Mom,and dad are watching me,,,,,THEY are my reason for living.I wish EVERY SINGLE ONE of you out there who is going through taking care of a loved one,GOOD LUCK. I held my daddy in my arms as he took his last breathe on Feb.23 at 4:43 am of this year.I miss him every minutes of every day.I look around his home,,and he is everywhere.I smell his clothes,,,I see his hats he so loved to wear.He will live in my heart forever,,and I have already told him,,,, to meet me when I come "home". "And when I grow too old to dream,,,your love will live in my heart". Goodbye,Daddy.See you soon. Love,Sandra
  • God bless u livermush for all you've done for your father. I can imagine how difficult + stressful, it was for you. Wow, you deeply inspire me, to think there are other in greater or worse pain than me. God bless your heart for you took great care of your dad.
  • You are a hero ann i admire you so much and i felt what you have undergone. Qi will include you in my prayer
  • God is everywhere He will not live you He loves you just trust in Him

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